Though I really don't want to talk about this I feel I just have to share my darkest secret with somebody. It isn't a nice story. Mind you, I don't regret anything. At the time it seemed right. No not right. I don't exactly know what I mean. It's hard to explain. It just happened. If you don't mind I think I'll better explain to you how it all happened.

I grew up under very poor circumstances in a small southern town. My mother and I lived in a one room and a kitchen apartment in a very shabby neighborhood. My mother was a cleaner at the local hospital. She was divorced and I never knew my father. Unfortunately for her she got to know this nurse how sold her ninety-five proof medical alcohol, which she diluted with some juice, and soon enough mom became a weekend drunk. You know the type. When Friday afternoon comes they drink themselves into stupor. They take care of job and obligations during the week alright, but during the weekend it's as if they change into someone else. Mom did just that. At the beginning she didn't want me to see her drunk so I think she waited to start to drink seriously until I had gone to bed and that was easy before I was a teenager. In my preteens I never was much for late nights. Early to bed and early to rise is and was my motto.

It all started when I reached puberty. Twelve was bad and thirteen was even worse. All I wanted was to see and feel a woman. I was obsessed with the thought of women. I couldn't stop thinking about them. This was in the early sixties and magazines with naked girls wasn't easy to get. I don't think I saw any nude-mags till I reached seventeen or something. And the girls weren't as mature and early to engage in any sexual relationships then as they are today. I don't think I ever heard of any girl getting involved in anything sexual with a boyfriend before the age of sixteen or seventeen. You know, we didn't even date until we were at least fifteen. And then all we did was a lot of kissing and necking. No petting on any of the first dates. Maybe a quick feel on a breast outside the blouse or outside the bra if you were lucky. Anyway all this was five or six years ahead. An eternity at that age.

This was when everything at home started to change.

Mom began to change into a nightie and dressing-gown early on Friday night and seemed to wear it through the whole week-end and she started to drink while she cooked our meals. And during it. And while I watched TV. She often fell asleep during a show and still slept when I woke up in the morning in almost the same position as she was in when I went to bed.

One evening this gave me an idea. A fatal one as it turned out. It all happened one night when she, as usual, had passed out when I turned the TV off. I didn't want her to sleep in that uncomfortable position that she usually fell asleep in, so the last weekends I had helped her to get under the cover in the sofa bed. This night however I was looking at her with a new interest. I suddenly realized that she was a woman. And the previous nights she hadn't noticed when I helped her to bed. So why not, I thought.

I took a closer look at her. She wasn't a bad looking woman. On the contrary. I just hadn't looked at her in the capacity of a woman before. I mean she was my mother. You don't look at your mother in that way, do you?!

I was looking at mom. She was, as I said before, a rather good-looking woman. Petite I think you would call her. Small I called her at the time. Small in height, in the breast department, small hips and a small ass. She wasn't skinny. She was real curvaceous in her petite way. And the reason I had managed to get her to bed the other nights was that she didn't weigh much. She couldn't have weighed more than fifty kilos. The idea that had formed itself in my head was that she was a woman and she was available to me. My heart pounded when I walked over to her. I shook her and called her but she didn't respond, so I proceeded. My fingers shook real bad when I untied her dressing-gown and opened it. She didn't react, so I opened it further and I could see her nightie, from the shoulders down to her stomach. It wasn't a sexy nightie. It was a, what you would call, a practical one. Flannel. It was buttoned from the neck and down just below the breasts.

I hesitated several minutes before I unbuttoned the top button. Then I stopped. I was thinking about the consequences if she was to wake up. She would give me hell! Just to be sure I shook her and called her name again. No response.

I took courage and unbuttoned the first button of her nightie. Mom didn't even flinch an eyelid so I undid the next one as well. And before I lost my courage I quickly unbuttoned the rest all the way down under her tits.

I stood up and looked down at her. I couldn't see anything of her body yet but I wanted to make sure she wasn't awake.

This was an important step I was about to take.

I slowly pulled moms nightie open and soon I could feast on the sight of mom's small tits. They were almost flat against her chest crowned by darkish brown aureoles and nipples that stuck out a little bit above them. They looked so inviting so I just had to feel them. I put my hand on her small mounds. They felt wonderful. Soft. When I squeezed them they pouted upwards between my fingers and her nipples grew hard. Just as my cock. In the same moment that I got my hands on mothers tits and her nipples hardened so did my cock, it had deflated due to the daring circumstance. I don't know if you can understand the feeling that overtook me just then. A feeling of ownership and a will to protect her. She seemed so vulnerable laying there semi-nude. And beside all that I felt hot. And soon enough I wanted more. I wanted to see her pussy.

I pulled her nightie up rather briskly. A little careless now that I was certain that she was unconscious. I stopped for a while when her thighs were revealed. I just had to look at them. They were so unlike my or any of the girls I've looked at. They were rather thin where they joined by the knee and grew thicker while they reached higher and higher up towards her hips. I put my hand on her kneecaps. They were so round and smooth. I let my hand glide tenderly up the sloped leg. Pushing the nightie further up. Hesitated when I reached her white panties. Looked up at mother's face. Could I see a little twhich in the corners of her mouth, as if she was smiling? No. I must be imagining. I wasn't sure how I should proceed after this. Should I take of her panties or just lift them and sort of peek under them and grope a feel?

Just out of precaution I decided that I should cope a feel through the legs of her panties and if she didn't wake up by my touching fingers I would undress her.

Before I reached out my hand towards her panties I had to free my straining prick. I shed my clothes, all but my shorts, and my cock felt relieved to get rid of the pressure from the rather tight and rough trousers.

Then was the moment of truth. Should mother wake up or was she so deeply passed out that I could feel her up and play with her body?

My fingers sneaked their way under the pantie-leg and touched her groin. At this I could feel a quick twhich of the muscles there. I almost panicked and was ready to withdraw my hand from her but I stopped in time and let my fingers stay in touch with her groin but I put a little more pressure on it and her twhiching stopped.

What didn't stop was my fingers which were advancing and immediately felt the course hair of my mothers pussy. What a feeling!

My cock was almost hurting so hard was it. I just had to have some relief so I pulled it out of my shorts and started to masturbate while I kept feeling the hairs of my mothers cunt. Feeling her pussy and looking at her breasts at the same time made my orgasm near in record time. With a loud groan my sperm shot out in a wide arc and landed on mothers legs and panties. Thick gray-white globs. Never had I had such an orgasm before. It left me weak in my knees and totally spent.

In order to cover up I had to dry up mom's legs and I used her dressing-gown for the purpose. The gobs on her panties would dry by themselves so I didn't bother about them.

Satisfied for the time being I covered my mom again and went to bed. I fell asleep almost at once. It was way out of my usual bedtime. And tomorrow was another day. Another day and my mother would be drunk again!

I waited a little anxious for mom to say anything about the previous night, but it didn't seem as she had noticed anything different about her this morning. It seemed as if she hadn't noticed the dried sperm on her panties which I knew from a previous mishap would be stiff and crisp when dried. I breathed a little sigh and went out to my friends for some football.

I spent the day as I usually do. Playing with my friends, but I could feel an anxious feeling the whole day. All my thoughts were focused on the evening. I broke up from my friends a little bit earlier than usual. I wanted to be at home and wait for mother to pass out. I knew she would eventually because she had, as usual, started her day with a drink and at this time she would be almost immobile. Half laying half sitting on the sofa-bed. I walked in and called hi to her and she just mumbled something. But she was able to reach for her drink.

I looked more at my mother than I looked at one of my favorite evening shows. And I was glad to see that she still was a beautiful woman. She is a brunette with short, curly hair. Rather long, straight, aristocratic, nose. Small ears with just a pearl in each ear-tip. A large mouth and straight white teeth. The only disturbing, no ugly, appearance about her was the drunken look in her eyes, the bags under them and a slack in her mouth due to the heavy drinking. What a pity. A beautiful woman wasting herself. For the first time I wondered why. She was alone, of course she was alone, but she didn't have to. I had never seen her with any man or girlfriend. All she seemed to do was work, look after the house, cook and drink every week end.

A short while thereafter she slumped back in the sofa and started to snore a little. I decided to wait at least half an hour before my exploration of the female body.

The time dragged and never seemed to come to the moment when it was time to commit yet another attack on mom's body. Hopefully it would be more rewarding than last night, tonight I wanted her naked!

After about half an hour I decided it was time to take action. With slightly trembling legs I neared the sofa and mother. I called her name and as expected she didn't respond. Without hesitation I undid her dressing-gown. Unbuttoned her nightie and open the flaps which concealed her tits. My eyes feasted once more on the small perky tits. While I looked at her I shed my clothes and with that done I started to feel her up. I wondered how they would taste so I bent my head down and sucked in a nipple in my mouth. As I did this mom flinched a little before she sort of pushed her tit up to my mouth. I didn't get scared at her movement, almost the same thing had happened last night and I began to understand that it was her body responding to my caress, not she as a person. After all she was almost unconscious. I shifted to the other nipple and felt that this one already was stiff and protruding. How did they look now? I raised my head and looked down at mom's tits. The aureoles where crinkled and oval in shape instead of almost round and smooth, topped with nipples that protruded at least one centimeter above them. It amazed me that they could get that long, they were almost non-existing in the un-aroused state that I had seen them in for the first time last night.

The next target for my exploration was mom's pussy. Again I drew up the hem of her nightie to above her waist. Saw the same sort of panties tonight as the night before. Instead of lifting the panty-leg aside a took hold of the waist and drew them down with my eyes fixed on the more and more revealed pussy. Saw for the first time her pussy-hair. A little darker than her head-hair and curly. And thick. It covered a rather high mound and smoothed it out.

I saw something that I hadn't seen last night. I saw that there was more to a pussy than just hair. I seemed to continue further down between her thighs. How far could it go? Hurriedly I pulled the panties of mom and returned my attention focused again on my main goal.

I reached out and put my hand on mother's cunt. Felt the harsh hairs under my fingers and saw as I spread her legs with my free hand her pussy-lips! They drew all my attention to them. Pink in all this darkness. What a contrast! I let my finger draw a line along them and felt such softness I never felt before. The skin had an altogether different structure than anything I felt. Softer even than mother's tits. While I drew my finger along them for the second time they sort of spread open and my finger slipped, no skidded into the wetness. How odd! Curiously I dipped my finger further into mom's cunt. It was deep! My finger didn't seem to find the bottom of mom's cunt-tunnel. I drew the finger out and in of her cunt a couple of times and I noticed it kept getting wetter and that my mother's breath became harder and faster. Her abdomen started to undulate in small movements. She followed my assaulting finger with an upward movement. Her hips sank back on the bed while my finger went out. This repeated itself every time my finger either went in or it went out of her pussy.

I had been so preoccupied by my new game that I almost had forgotten my cock and I suddenly became aware of its existence and I noticed it had been drooling pre-cum so it was wet all over. I grabbed it with a hand and started to wank it but soon enough I stopped. Why not use mother's cunt to still my urges?

Carefully I crept up on my mother's body. I didn't dare to lay down on her so I had to take the weight on outstretched arms and try to aim my cock in position for penetration. It proved to be a simple task. Once the head of my cock made contact with mother's cunt she made her upward thrust and the head slipped easily inside her. From there it was go. I sank my cock to the root in my mother's cunt. Felt the cunt form itself around my stiff rod. Giving no resistance to its invading. On the contrary. Mom helped by moving her hips up and down my cock. The only drawback was that she did it in her own rhythm. She couldn't adjust to mine since she was dreaming, I think, she wasn't aware that she was fucking! She must be having a wet dream or what ever you experience while you're passed out.