“Stupid cunt” I muttered to myself as I turned and walked away from them. Them? The girlfriend who was now an ex and the guy she was sitting with.

Not a new story. In fact it probably happened a hundred times a day on this great big world of ours. Girlfriend breaks a date because of (fill in the blank) and boyfriend finds her out with another guy. In my case she had to go shopping with her mother.

Dating another guy isn’t what made her a stupid cunt. I’m not so egotistical that I believe she’s stupid for stepping out on me. No indeed. What made her a stupid cunt was letting her date take her into the restaurant where my sister works.

It was a Friday night and I was working on a paper for my Managerial Economics class when the phone rang. It was my sister Mary Beth.

“Hey little brother,”

“Hi big sis. Watcha want?”

“Have you and Pauline broken up?”

“No and why would you ask me a question like that?”

“She’s in here with some guy and they are holding hands and being all lovey dovey.”

“I guess we have broken up and she just hasn’t got around to telling me. See you in ten” I said and then hung up.

It took ten minutes to get to the restaurant where my sister worked. When I walked in there were several couples there, but only one where the female was a redhead. Her back was to me as I walked up to her booth. I stood just behind her and reached over her shoulder, grabbed her left hand and before she realized what was happening I pulled my high school class ring off of her finger and then as I turned to walk away I made the “Stupid cunt” comment.

I hadn’t gone six steps before a hand grabbed my shoulder and a voice said “Hey asshole you can’t call my date...” and he never got to finish because I turned to him my fist was already on the way. Later I found out I hit him so hard that I dislocated his jaw. It was later because when he went down I turned and walked out of the restaurant.

When sis got home she told me 911 had been called and the EMTs had taken the guy away. When the EMTs arrived they had been followed by a couple of cops who wanted to know what happened, but everyone there said they hadn’t seen a thing. Even Pauline. The cops left, probably to go to the hospital to get the guys story. I resigned myself to getting a visit from the cops, but they never showed.

Meanwhile I was getting two or three calls a day from Pauline wanting to talk. My standard answer was that we had nothing to talk about and I would hang up. Luckily we had no classes together on Monday so I should be able to avoid her at school. Hopefully the way I handled her phone calls would help her understand that I wanted nothing to do with her and she would just leave me alone.

I didn’t kid myself. It was going to be hard putting Paulie behind me. We had been together since the eighth grade and were talking about getting married when we graduated from college; a mere year and a half away, but being lied to put an end to that.

It made me think of the countless other times over the years that she had broken dates with me for one reason or another. Now I was wondering if what she was really doing on those times was what she was doing this time. That put another bad thought in my head. She’d broken three dates with me over the last two months. I was going to have to go to the doctors and get tested. I don’t know if she saw other guys those times or not, but if she did I could have a problem because Pauline was a very sexual being and had been one since she gave me her cherry on her eighteenth birthday. If she did see other guys on those times did she put out? I wasn’t going to take a chance. Not in this day and age.

I managed to get through the weekend okay, but on Monday morning my hope of avoiding Pauline and that she would leave me alone died a quick death. She was waiting for me at the door of my first class. I was going to walk right by her, but she moved to block the doorway.

“You are going to have to talk to me Stan. I’m going to keep bugging you until you do.”

“Eleven-ten at the student cafeteria. Now get out of my way.”

She moved and I walked into the classroom. When I walked out of my ten o’clock class at five to eleven I found Pauline waiting for me.

“I know you Stan and the tone of your voice told me you weren’t going to meet me in the cafeteria.”

She was right. I had no intention of meeting her.

“Get used to it Stan. I’ll hound you until you talk with me.”

“Okay. Let’s get it over with. There’s a bench over here” and I walked to it with Pauline following me. I sat down and Pauline said:

“Not here. Somewhere a little more private.”

“This is private enough for me. You want to talk? Sit down and talk or I’m getting up and walking away.”

“I’ll just keep after you.”

“And I’ll keep walking away. This is the only chance I’m giving you so sit down and tell me your lies while you can.”

“God, but you can be such an ass at times” she said as she sat down. I said nothing and just sat and waited. She took a deep breath and then said:

“What you thought you saw the other night isn’t what you thought it was. When mom and I finished shopping and went home we found my Uncle John and my cousin Marvin there talking to my dad. They are going to be moving here and Uncle John asked me to show Marvin around. Point out places he needed to know and places that might interest him. We finished up at the restaurant where you assaulted him.”

“Nice story Paulie and I will give you an A for effort, but I don’t believe a word of it. First off I did not assault him. He laid hands on me in an aggressive manner and I reacted the way I always have and that I always will in situations like that. Next, when he grabbed my shoulder he said “Hey asshole you can’t call my date...” Not “Can’t call my cousin” Paulie, but “my date.” You’ve had your say Pauline and I’ve listened so please leave me alone from now on” and I got up and walked away.

I got out of my last class at three and went to my part time job at Fox Ridge Trailers. I’d been working there part time since I was fourteen. I started out at what Dale called a lot boy. I cleaned trailers inside and out and kept the lot and the shop clean. Then he started letting me do small things like bearing packs and replacing hinges and door locks. By the time I was eighteen I was an experienced trailer mechanic. I worked part time while in school and full time on vacations and on spring break.

When I got off work that evening I found Mr. French and another man waiting for me by my car and I wondered what was going on because it was the first time Mr. French had come to where I worked. When I got up to them Mr. French said:

“Stan; this is my brother John and he would like to speak to you.”

I looked at his brother and said “Yes sir?

“You put my boy in the hospital and I want to know what you are going to do about it.”

“I guess I’ll need to crawl back to Pauline and beg her to forgive me for the bad thoughts I had where she was concerned.”

“Don’t get smart with me boy! I want to know what you are going to do about Marvin.”

“I don’t understand what you are asking.”

“Are you going to pay his hospital bill direct or do I pay it and you pay me back.”

“Neither.”

“What?”

“Neither one. He laid hands on me and got what anyone who lays hands on me gets. It is all on him.”

“I guess I need to make this plain enough for you to understand. You will pay his medical bills or I will and then take it out of your hide.”

“Plain enough.”

I turned to Mr. French.

“Are you going to back his play?”

“What?”

“Is it him and me or you and him and me?”

“No son; I’m not part of this. John wanted to meet you so I brought him here.”

I turned to face his brother and said “Here and now or after you pay his bills?”

He got a mean look on his face and said “You little asshole as he took a step toward me. I set myself and brought up my fists and said “Bring it old man.”

Before it could go any farther Dale walked up and asked what was going on.

“We just agreed to disagree” I said.

“Not on my property. Take your disagreement someplace else.”

I stayed set and ready and watched Mr. French’s brother. I could see he wanted a piece of me, but because of Dale showing up he hesitated. Hesitated long enough for Mr. French to take his arm and pull him back while saying:

“Come on John; let’s go.”

I got a dirty look and a “This ain’t over asshole” from Mr. French’s brother before he turned and left.

“What was this all about” Dale asked and I told him.

“You going to be all right?”

“Hell no. I’m going to have to crawl to my girlfriend and eat crow. Hell; I’ll probably have to eat a whole flock of crows.”

He gave me a pat on the back and told me he would see me tomorrow and he walked back into his office.

When I got home I called Pauline. Her mother answered and I asked to speak to Pauline. A minute later she said:

“Pauline doesn’t want to talk to you Stan. Sorry.”

“It’s okay Mrs. French. I guess I earned it.”

My dad overheard my end and asked if everything was all right and I told him no and then of course I had to explain. He just shook his head and said:

“You are in a heap of trouble boy.”

The next day my second class was Production Planning and it was one of the few classes I shared with Pauline. I was waiting at the door of the classroom when she arrived. I could see she meant to walk right by me so I did what she had done and I moved to block the doorway.

“Get out of my way!”

“No. We need to talk.”

“I don’t see any need to.”

“I need to explain my actions.”

“You actions were an explanation in themselves. All the time we have been together and you don’t know me any better than that? I’m just glad I found out now rather than after we married. Now get out of my way.”

I could see that Mrs. Blevens was getting ready to call the class to order so I moved out of her way. Class over I was up and out of my seat and waiting in the hallway when Pauline came out. I stepped in front of her and said:

“Fair is fair. I let you have your say; you have to let me have mine.”

She hesitated and then said “Not now. I’m going to have to hurry or I’m going to be late for my next class. Cafeteria at eleven-fifteen” and she hurried away. I was at the cafeteria at elven-ten and eleven-fifteen came and went with no sign of Pauline. I sat there until eleven-thirty and then I gave up and headed for my next class.

When I got off work that night I swung by the French residence and rang the doorbell. Mrs. French came to the door and I asked to speak to Pauline.

“I’m sorry Stan, but she made it plain to me that she doesn’t want to talk to you. Besides, this wouldn’t be a good time for it anyway. Her Uncle John and Cousin Marvin are here and from what I heard you really don’t want to be around them right now.”

“Okay. Sorry I bothered you” and I turned and left.

As I walked to my truck I made the decision to just let it go. As I pulled away from the curb I was asking myself how I could so easily give up on a girl I was supposed to be in love with. Had it really been love or just something I was comfortable with?

I’d never been with a girl other than Pauline. I’d never seen another girl I’d rather be with, but was that love? On a baser level was I just comfortable with Pauline because she had given me her cherry just after her eighteenth birthday and since had been a steady piece of ass. I didn’t know.

What I did know was that it wasn’t in me to crawl and beg. Her standing me up at the cafeteria and her mother telling me what she had pretty much meant that is what I was going to have to do and like I said, it just wasn’t in me to do that. I’d learned all about what that gets you by watching my mom and dad. I don’t know if he was pussy whipped, but he was most definitely hen-pecked and under my mother’s thumb. Ninety percent of his vocabulary, at least around the house, was “Yes dear,” “Whatever you want ear” and “If that is what you want dear.”

Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if there was some give and take, but there was none. It was all one way. Mom’s way.

“Would it be all right if I stopped at the bar with the guys after work?”

“No. You know I hate liquor on your breath.”

“Phil and Hank want me to play gold with them this Saturday.”

“You can’t. My car needs to be washed and you need to be here to babysit Stanley while I go out with Gloria and the girls.”

I kept waiting for my dad to assert himself, but he never did. I promised myself it would never happen to me and to my mind crawling o Pauline and begging would be a start down that road. Wasn’t going there! I was in the wrong. I would admit it and ask to be forgiven, but I wasn’t going to dog her to get her to listen. Wrong of me to be so hardheaded? Maybe, but I was what I was.

The next day at school I was in the cafeteria having lunch when Pauline came in. I saw her look my way and then turn and go to the other side of the room. “So be it” I said to myself and finished my lunch and got up and headed for my next class.

Friday I walked into Production Planning and found Pauline already there. The seats on both sides of her were empty and the only other empty seat was in the front row. I hated sitting in the front row and Pauline knew it so she was probably surprised when I walked past her and took the seat in the front row.

When class was over I found Pauline waiting in the hall just outside the door. I don’t know if she was waiting for me or not, but if she was I walked right by her without saying a word.

Saturday I put in a full day at the trailer place and then I went home, cleaned up, had dinner with my parents and then headed over to the Arcade to see if any of my buds were there. There were several and we hung together and had a good time. All of us were waiting for our twenty-first birthday so we could get into the clubs and bars that had bands and were we could drink and dance. In my case it was only four months away.

Maybe an hour after I got there Shelly Berman and Sylvia Meeks joined us. Shelly asked where Pauline was and I told her Pauline and I were no longer a couple. She turned to Sylvia and said:

“What do you think? Rock, paper, scissors or flip a coin?”

Sylvia reached into a pocket and came out with a coin. “Call it” she said as she flipped it. Shelly called tails and the coin landed on the floor tails up. Sylvia muttered “Bitch” and Shelly laughed and turned to me and said:

“How do you feel about it?”

“About what?”

“My beating out Sylvia in being the first to ask you for a date?”

“Seriously?”

“You betcha.”

I looked from her to Sylvia and said “I come out a winner no matter who won the toss.”

“Right answer” Sylvia said.

“When are we going on our first date” Shelly asked.

“Tomorrow work for you?”

“It does.”

“How about a movie and then we go to Skate City?”

“Works for me. What time?”

“Four work for you?”

“It does.”

Sylvia took my hand and said “Just because she beat me out of being the first to ask you doesn’t mean I’m going to let her be exclusive.”

“Get your hands off my man bitch.”

“Your man? We will just have to see about that.”

I just stood there watching the humorous give and take between the two who had been best friends since the third grade.

At nine I said goodnight to everybody and headed on home.

Sunday morning I changed the oil in my truck and hen washed it for my date with Shelly. I was a bit nervous as I rang her doorbell. Shelly would be only the second girl I’d ever dated. My very first date had been with Pauline and up until this time she had been the only girl I’d ever dated.

I needn’t have worried. I had a very good time with Shelly and when I took her home she kissed me on the cheek, told me she’d had a good time and hoped we could do it again. I asked her if she would like to do it again on the next Friday and she said she would love to.

Monday over breakfast my sister said “Rumor has it that you were out on the town last night and it wasn’t with Pauline.”

“Pauline and I are no longer.”

“Because of the night I called you?”

“Yep.”

“Why? She stopped by the restaurant the next day and explained it to me. Surely she told you also.”

“She did and I didn’t believe her. You told me they were holding hands and being lovey dovey and when he grabbed me he said I couldn’t treat his date the way I did. What you told me and his saying “Date” instead of “Cousin” to me was the same thing as two and two equal four so when she told me he was her cousin and she was just showing him around I told her I didn’t believe her and walked away. When I found out she hadn’t lied I tried to apologize, but she told me to crawl off and die.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“Move on.”

Then my mother threw her two cents in.

“You can’t just move on. You need to apologize to the girl. Crawl and beg forgiveness if you have to.”

I looked from her to my dad and back to her and then said “Nope. I’ve seen what crawling leads to and I’m not going there.”

I excused myself from the table and went to my room to work on a paper that was due on Wednesday. Ten minutes sis came into my room and sat down on the bed.

“I can’t believe you said what you said. Do you think they know what you said was aimed at them?”

“Dad might, but I doubt mom did. She’s too full of herself to think anyone would ever take a shot at her.”

“You are probably right. Anyway, the reason I came in here was to tell you to watch out. Shelly’s boyfriend doesn’t see himself as an ex. As far as he is concerned she is still his girl and he has gotten in fights over her before.”

“I can handle Dave, but how did you know about Shelly? Jesus Christ” I said as I looked at my watch, “It hasn’t even been eighteen hours since our date.”

“Marcy Collins saw the two of you at Skate City and you know she has always had it in for Pauline so she was in the restaurant telling anybody who would listen that she saw you and Shelly holding hands and kissing probably hoping it will get back to Pauline. I’m sure it will get to Dave and he is hot headed enough to come after you.”

“I’m not worried.”

“Okay. I just wanted you to know” and she got up and left.

As I got back to my paper I was thinking if Dave was to hear about it it was a good bet that Pauline would hear about it also.

Monday at school I saw Pauline twice and both times she avoided me. I don’t know why because I had no intension of approaching her, but I guess she didn’t know that.

Sis was right. The news had gotten to Dave and he was sitting on my left front fender when I got to my car in the student parking lot when I got out of my last class. He didn’t say anything as I approached him. I guess his plan was to wait for me to ask him why he was sitting on my fender before sliding off and getting in my face. I just got in the car, started it, put it in gear and started to move before he figured out he was about to become a hood ornament. He quickly slid off the fender and yelled:

“What’s the matter Dalton? Afraid to fight me?”

I hit the brakes, put the car in park and then got out and walked back to him and said “I didn’t know you wanted to fight Dave. You never said anything when I walked up. But if that’s what you are after let’s get to it and I hit him. I got in two more shots before he went down. I stood over him and looked down.

“Come on Dave. You wanted to fight, but you can’t fight sitting down. Get up and get to it.”

“You sucker punched me asshole.”

“No I didn’t. You said you wanted to fight. Fight means hitting so I hit. Now get up so we can give the audience a good show.”

“Huh?”

He looked around at the crowd that had gathered and the crowd included Pauline and Shelly. Dave took them all in and then said “Fuck you Dalton” but made no move to get up. I turned and headed for my car.

I heard a couple of gasps and saw a few faces go wide eyed and I turned just in time to block the punch that Dave threw at the back of my head. It caught him off balance and my first punch broke his nose and then I began wailing on him. When he went down, because of the cowardly way he was going to sneak up on me, I was pissed. So pissed that when he went down I started kicking him. I got him a couple of times in the ribs and once in the stones before someone grabbed me and pulled me back. That someone was Shelly and she said:

“Come on Stan. You can’t waste your time on him when I need a ride home.”

I walked to the passenger side of my truck and opened the door for her. She got in and on the way back to my side I happened to see Pauline and the look on her face wasn’t pretty. As I drove Shelly home she asked what the fight was about.

“You.”

“Me? How did I get involved?”

“Apparently he is trying to keep other guys away from you since your breakup. As far as he is concerned you are still his girl.”

“That’s why I broke up with him. He was getting too damned possessive and trying to run my life. This doesn’t change anything does it? We still on for Friday night?”

“You bet.”

I dropped her off at her place and got a kiss on the cheek and then I headed for work.

That night after dinner I went up to my room to study and maybe twenty minutes later sis came in and sat down on the bed.

“What’s up” I asked.

“Just wondering. At the change in you.”

“What’s that mean?”

“How violent you have become. Two fights in two weeks. That just isn’t you. At least the you I’ve always known.”

“You know I’ve had fights before.”

“That was in middle school and high school. I thought you’d grown up since then.”

“Growing up doesn’t mean letting people get away with shit. As for Pauline’s cousin he called me an ashore and grabbed my shoulder to turn me around and I fully expected him to punch me as soon as I was around. As far as I knew his punch was already on the way so I had my fist up as I turned and it hit him. He laid hands on me and I reacted.

“In Dave’s case he came after me and don’t you forget that you are the one who warned me about him. He came looking for what he got. I have not become a violent person although I may react violently in certain circumstances. That clear it up for you?”

“Sorry. I can’t be blamed for worrying about my baby brother.”

“Thank you for your concern. I love you too, but why are you here? You are off today and that usually means you and Art are together somewhere.”

“He had a death in the family and had to fly back to Ohio. He should be home by the weekend.”

She was silent for about a minute and then said “I spoke with Pauline this afternoon.”

“Oh? Dare I ask?”

“I’m probably breaking some female code in telling you this, but she wants to know how to get back to you without it looking like crawling.”

“What did you tell her?”

“To just be herself. Walk up to you and talk. Maybe invite you to sit down over coffee or something.”

There was a short pause and then she said “I apologized for my part in it.”

“Your part?”

“I was the one who made the phone call that started the whole mess. I could have handled it differently. I could have just walked up and then said something like I was surprised to see her out with someone other than you. If I would have done that she would have introduced me to her cousin and I wouldn’t have made the call to you.”

“We both could have handled it better. I could have done the same. Walked up to her and asked why she wasn’t shopping with her mother and then asked who her friend was, but that’s all water over the dam now. All the coulda’s and shoulda’s in the world won’t change what has already happened.”

“So here is no hope for her?”

“I didn’t say that. As long as she has known me she should have known that when she indicated that she didn’t want me around I would stay away. I won’t avoid her if she comes my way, but I won’t go looking for her.

Tuesday at school I didn’t see Pauline, but I did see Dave. He was walking down the hallway toward me and when he saw me he turned and hurried away. I made a mental note to watch out for him. The way he tried to creep on me the day previous had me thinking he would try again.

The day was uneventful until after dinner that night. I was in the garage putting new seat covers on my car when my dad came out into the garage and sat down on the steps leading into the mudroom. He watched me in silence for a couple of minutes and then said:

“You hurt me the other night.”

“How did I do that?”

“You think I didn’t know what you said was aimed at me? I didn’t realize that you had that low of an opinion of me.”

“I don’t have a low opinion of you. Your relationship with me is great and I have no complaints. You are a great dad. Your relationship with mom is none of my business. You seem happy with what you have so what business is it of mine? What I said in response to mom’s comment was that I did not want to have a relationship like you have. It works for you, but it wouldn’t work for me.”

“Maybe, maybe not. Love can make you do things you never thought you would ever do. Good night” he said and he got up and walked back into the house.

The next day when my ten o’clock let out I went to the student cafeteria. I was sipping coffee and reviewing my notes from class when somebody sat down across from me. I looked up and saw Pauline. I just looked at her and didn’t say a thing. Finally she broke the silence.

“You hurt me Stan. As long as we have been together and you didn’t know me any better than that?”

“I know and I’ve been beating myself up over it since it happened. I wanted to explain and ask forgiveness, but you wouldn’t let me. And using your own words, as long as we have been together and you couldn’t even give me my day in court?

“Put yourself in my shoes Paulie. I break a date with you and then someone calls you and says that I’m with another girl and we are holding hands and being all lovey dovey with each other. Then you remember all the other dates I’ve broken for one reason or another and you start wondering if those times I was with another girl. Then you walk into the restaurant and see me holding hands with a girl. What would you have done? I know you Paulie. You would have done just what I did and you know it

“Were there other and better ways to have handled it? Yes and I can think of several now, but at the time I was just too pissed off to be thinking clearly. I was wrong and I sincerely apologize for my behavior, but please keep in mind the extenuating circumstances that led me to behave the way I did.”

“I can see it. I would like to think I would have handled it better, but I guess we will never know. At least I hope to God we will never know.”

She paused for a couple of seconds and then said “What’s with you and Shelly Beamon?”

“She’s a fun date” I said and then explained how my dating Shelly had come about.

“Nothing there for me to worry about?”

“We’ve only been on one date although I do have another one with her scheduled for Friday night.”

“Oh? I was hoping that you and I could get together on Friday.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t break a date this close to it without a damned good reason.”

“Getting back with me isn’t reason enough?”

“I’ll tell her that I’m getting back with you and won’t be able to see her anymore, but I won’t break the date. We can get together Saturday.”

“No we can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t say.”

I looked at her in silence for several seconds and then said “It is because you already have a date for Saturday. Right?”

I gathered up my stuff and said “See you around Paulie” and headed off to my next class.

When I got out of my last class I headed for my car and found Pauline waiting there. Before I could say anything she said:

“I need to explain myself. I need you to understand why I won’t be free Friday night.”

“Nothing to explain. Just like I have a date I don’t want to cancel on short notice so do you. What I don’t understand is why you didn’t wait until after that date to sit down and have your talk with me.”

“I wanted to keep you from getting any closer to Shelly.”

“I see. You don’t want me to date, but you can. I guess that makes sense. To you!”

“It’s different. My date isn’t a romantic date. It’s a chance for me to do something for the first time.”

“What?”

“Go drinking and dancing at the Alhambra.”

I should mention here that Pauline is four months older than me. And she had just turned twenty-one two weeks ago.

“You couldn’t wait another four months so we could do it together?”

“I made the date while I was pissed at you and didn’t know if I would ever talk to you again. And just like your date with Shelly I don’t want to cancel on short notice.”