jj76: Blog

DB's Christmas story went up today. I put a bunch of stuff in that could have been individual episodes; catnip, kitty toy gladiator, meow begging at the table, jumping in paper bags = wrapping paper, but I didn't have 'people talk' comebacks for them. What I did pull out for people talk was last minute. I have a couple of additional ideas but I'm not going to force them (like DB-4) so don't expect anymore DB's for a while.

Someone mentioned in an email that DBs were poems. I guess they might qualify for prose poetry, but since I didn't know what that was when I was writing them I'll just keep calling them silly little doodles.

Looking up 'prose poem' led me to look up flash fiction, and I saw a limit of 300 words for some definitions, and since I was on a roll with the prostitute theme I actually put The Proposal together purposefully. It was inspired by Tracy Quan and her Nancy Chan stories and the recent news story of Suzy Hamilton.

That little ditty started out with votes of 9s-10s and dropped into the 5s at the same time Gorgo the barbarian started out in the 3s and went up to the mid 6s before falling back into the high 5s. All this happened before there were enough votes to show up on the front page for readers to see -- authors can see the first votes come in on their stats page. It's a roller coaster ride and puts a bit of excitement into the first night when a story is posted. Because of their short length and the fact that both stories are readable, typo and grammar wise, I expected scores in the 6s, but you never know how the wind will blow.

Gorgo the barbarian (Go-Go Barby) will probably turn into a series of black comedy shorts since he is DB's human counterpart and more flexible than a crazy kitten from a writing standpoint. When I feel like bashing in someone's head or commenting on an annoying television show it will probably get funneled into a Go-Go short.

Rewrites on the next ring-sword are going slowly now. Most of the crap beginning has been sorted out but that burned me out and the story still needs a couple of new chapters in the middle. My brain will probably stabilize after the Christmas stress goes down.

So there you go. I shot my literary load for Christmas so I might not be seen for a while.

Take care and be safe -- jj76

Updated: Thanks for the four votes. Fuzzball made the list so you can disregard what follows. Read only if my twisted mind amuses you.

FYI. A new short (doodle) will be up later this week on the story site titled Gorgo the Barbarian. No cats this time, but you will get another DB pulled off the blog as well.

As of today, our furry little friend DB part-3 needs four votes (50 total) in order to get on the top 20 finished stories list (unless those votes are really low and crash the overall score). Readership is dropping off, so I'm out here on the street corner of Blogtown in a miniskirt and porno fuck me platforms soliciting votes like any good politician.


And as long as I'm feeling all prostitootie for reader approval, I've decided to compromise my artistic integrity (as if kitten stories on a porn story site are not bad enough). I've decided to add some tasteful sex scenes and a happy ending to the upcoming tragic story of the ring swords. But it will only be an alternate ending option, so all of you who want to bask in my ability to make you feel bad, and maybe even shed a tear, will be able to read the original words as I violently kill off characters I have worked hard to make you like. Those of you with no appreciation for such literary artistry (I blame the American film industry and high fructose corn syrup) will get some sort of feel good ending that does nothing to move my gloomy vision for the the ring sword universe forward.

Loyal reader Knight Writer sent me his idea for how Oakheart got stuck in the tree. The scenarios in my brain are jaded by the next story, but this one scenario is possible, and it struck me as an interesting twist. Posting it also gives me something to put up here that is possibly interesting because I'm just going to bitch about something later. It's more whining than bitching actually. I could go out the back door naked and scream to the sky, but it is warmer just throwing it out into cyber space, or whatever blogs are, because right now it's frikin cold outside.


How did Oakheart get stuck in the tree? Knight Writer's idea...

The former owner of the sword lost it when he was
killed in battle. The new owner had it in a pack
and was traveling with his family.

They stopped in a meadow that had some trees,
including a smallish one to spend the night.

A youngster got it and managed to activate it's
"ghost mode" and was playing around with it. He
tripped and fell, leaving the sword in the tree.

The noise he made when he tripped woke his dad who
told him to get back to the camp and settle down.

He did plan on getting up early to look for the
sword. Unfortunately for his plans, he woke up
late and was rushed in getting ready to leave.

Later on, when they returned home, his father
discovered Oakheart was missing.

I bet the little shit got his ass kicked when he got home.

Now for my whining.

I've re-written the first chapter of the prequel four times now. The reason being because it was originally written as a prequel chapter for Wilhan and contained all the facts and secrets about the background of the sword. The next ten chapters of the story simply expand on everything that I put in that first chapter. Imagine having a Cliff's Notes version as the first chapter of a long novel.

Now I'm trying to take all those facts out and make sure they are put back in later to surprise you readers and make me look like I know what I'm doing as a writer. The more I get into it the more little problems pop up. It's like untangling a knot of fishing line. Hence my fleating desire to go outside naked and scream at the moon.


The new opening sex scene with overly large breasts on the women and a huge male organ on the teenaged boy are necessary. The elaborate an complexly moving emotional flow of the story depend on it.


I write about kittens too. Did you know that?

Our furry little friend did a nose dive from over 8 to the low 7s on the first night of posting so he is both loved and hated. He has the highest TPA votes of any of my stories so if you blog followers can spare the download please vote. Don't stand for animal story abuse!

I have come up with a final human comment for DB4, and that will be posted on the story site when the time comes. Sorry, I couldn't think of anything at the time of the blog post.

Hi All,

Update: I have cleaned up and resubmitted the first five parts of the Tale of Roland. For me, that means reading it starting at the end and going to the front sentence by sentence to catch all of the typos and formating errors. The first couple of chapters were really messy. If you have already read the story, nothing has changed. If you have downloaded it to a hard-drive to reread (I do that with SOL stories), you might want the cleaner new copy. I will work on the last half and try to repost it soon, but it was pretty clean to start with.


I have been very happy this week. Wilhan Dragonslayer has been at the top of the Top 20 finished stories downloads all week. Since all of the stories that were above it were multiple chapter posts (2-3 chapters posted during their last week) Wilhan is actually #1 in readers because its numbers are for only one post. Many of the ongoing stories by really good authors have a much larger readership, but I'm happy that I don't suck. Maybe I do and people just really like Viking stories, crap or not. I'll find out with the next story.


I have a question for you guys. Chapter 7 is being reread a lot more than any other chapter. Why? Is it because it is long or because something is good about it? Army move, battle, army move, battle, big finish. ... It's not Pulitzer stuff ... like my sex scenes are.

I am going to start posting the old Death Bringer stories on the story site. I finished a Christmas episode, which is too big for the blog so you will have to download that one -- sorry. I'm out of ideas for the little furball, so I don't know if he will live on after that.


Here is the episode that comes before the Christmas story. It's minimalist.


Death Bringer IV

I have done it! My mortal enemy is no more! After a hunt for the ages and an epic battle, the squeak beast is dead.

The saga begins just after sunup on a frigid morning when I went into the chariot cavern to visit my privy box. After carefully digging a hole in the loose earth, doing my business, and carefully covering it so that none would ever know I had passed that way, I left the box only to see the squeak beast in the open making a run for cover. Three leaps and I was upon it. I heard its battle cry and then felt its razor sharp teeth dig deep into my hand. Fearful that a second bite might sever my whole arm I sank my fangs into my foe as hard as I could, bringing death to it.

It was over; my greatest battle to date. There was no playing with the corpse, my valiant enemy deserved better. The gods would be pleased, so I set the noble body where they would be sure to find it, for I am Death Bringer and that is my purpose.